Hey Manitoba, how much did you have to pay L'Ecuyer to conveniently overlook every hold, hook, and blatant interference?

Hey L'Ecuyer, did your Mom teach you to suck like that?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!


Hershey Bears FTW!!!!! Woooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

I hate my job.

I miss my stupid boyfriend.

I wanted a good, stable job, and now I have it. I wanted a boyfriend, so I wouldn't be alone anymore, and I have him.

I must be some kind of ungrateful bitch because I just can't get happy no matter what I do.

I can't stand myself when I am emo. Ugh.

I sorta feel like nothing is going right. Work is awful and I don't even want to go. It will pass, but right at this particular moment, I am strongly regretting my decision to forego the opportunity to be a knocked up housewife. I'm pretty sure that the only things getting me out of bed and dressed for work each day are: habit and the fear of foreclosure on my house. I feel even worse because I should be happy just to have a job, during these times when so many people do not, and the guilt over being ungrateful isn't helping.

I feel torn between two people that I really care about and I just want them both to be happy. I can't fix things, though, and that sucks because I sincerely wish that I could.

I want to go out and do something, anything, that does not involve drinking because I really don't feel that booze is going to make things better. Quite the opposite. But what else is there to do?

Shannon is a billion million miles away and while I didn't expect it to be easy, I didn't expect it to suck quite this badly. I am not entirely sure that I can take four more weeks of this.

And on top of the above fun times, I have major PMS and I feel like crying. But I don't want to cry because I hate crying. It's wet and snotty and gross and it's an unpleasant habit. I think I'm also a little scared that if I start, I may not be able to stop.

I'm kind of a useless mess.

I am going to have an awesome day. After that, I am going to have a super weekend, complete with hockey and tetris. This will all result in me having a fucking amazing week. After which, I will move right into having a fucking blast next week. And so on, and such.

You know where to find me if you want to get in on this shit!

I am a nerd. :)

Look @ this!

http://villageofjoy.com/amazing-eye-macros-23-pictures/

Renee has reminded me again that I have been a lazy fucking fuck with the blog lately. My bad. I should probably be spanked or something.

I've just been busy with work, which is going well. And I've been busy swapping between contentment and happiness. Very recently it's been more happy than content. Who can argue with that? I think that maybe it's my time to get it right.

Spring is about to pounce and I just can't fucking wait. The only good thing about winter is hockey, and while I am always sad to see the season end, spring brings the playoffs, and things are looking good there.

Living in the city, but just outside of downtown was one of the best choices I've made. I live in a perfect place. I am 1/2 block from Italian Lake. If you've never seen it wake up from the winter, you don't know what you're missing. I swear I see the pups smiling when we go for walks outside in the spring when it's cool, but the sun is shining. I haven't yet seen the park shark, but I am sure he's there and that I'll catch a glimpse soon.

I can't wait to get the schedule for the summer concert series. Wine, picnic baskets, and music. It'll soon be time for Shakespeare in the Park over @ Reservoir. There's just always something happening. I can't wait to start planning barbecues. My yard will be THE place to hang out this summer, guaranteed. Beer, Mojitos, hamburgers, hotdogs, and card games.

I am never filled with as much optimism, energy, and motivation as I am in the spring. I have often used my blog to vent or get things off my chest, but the one thing bugging me right now just seems to be getting less and less important.

I just want to have FUN.

There are medications which numb the feelings, correct? Make one zombie-esque. Oblivious to the hang ups of the human race. This is what I need. Or 10 grand in therapy. And the meds are probably cheaper with a prescription plan.

No matter what I do and what friends I make, I cannot escape people who stand me up/cancel on me at the last minute. And I hate it because it hurts. It makes me feel bad every single time.

Are there people who don't do this kind of thing? Are they geographically concentrated? Where?

I might consider moving. I am starting to believe that there's either something very wrong with me, or very wrong with the people in this area of the world. So aside from becoming completely anti-social, I don't know what to do. Oh yeah, the meds.

So there ya go, Renee nee. I think you asked me to write at a bad time.

I am sure that I don't take nearly enough time to appreciate the freedoms that I enjoy as a citizen of this country. I don't spend much time thinking of the concerns of the founders, the struggles of the native people who were displaced, or the wars fought in the name of democracy.

But for a few brief minutes I do stop and think about all of these things, each time I hear the national anthem. I stand very still and silent, and feel sincere gratitude for the sacrifices that others have made. It's my way of showing respect and I think that it's the least that I, and the rest of the ungrateful heathens, can do.

And so it really irks me to no fucking end when assholes talk during said anthem. This happens to me at hockey games, either since those are the only games I attend, or because hockey fans aren't exactly known for their good sense. I have no frame of reference for other sports fans. But the point is that you can talk before the game. You can converse, scream, hoot and holler during the game, and in fact these things are encouraged. But I think you should shut your fucking trap for the anthem, and consider how lucky you are to live in a place that gives you the freedom to be a disrespectful moron.

I am Nerdy McGeekerson. Not only did I shell out $27 for a 3.5x5" mini notebook, but I am so fucking tweaked about it that I may not make it through the 10-14 days until it arrives (hopefully less).

This may be one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Modofly laser engraves artwork onto Moleskine notebooks and the result is fucking amazing.

I love Moleskine notebooks. I've had one per year since 2003 (2004? I forget) or so. Except I didn't do one for 2008. And 2008 has been the year of the devil. Coincidence? I don't fucking think so. The little beauty above will be the pride and joy of my 2009. I already know the very first thing that's going to grace its pages.

Excuse me while I go squeal like a little girl over in the corner.

I got to sleep at 3-something AM. The dogs woke me at just after 9AM. They are back to sleep on the couch.

*I* cannot sleep. I cannot stop playing with the galaxy zoo. Help me.

I remember very few details of my Thanksgiving night shennannigans. I know that I went to Shady McGrady's with Amanda and Jess and that we met up with Callie and Rusty and that we all sat and talked for awhile and that part was fun.

Then things get a little fuzzy and I believe that I magically transformed into "that girl". I played pool with some guy Callie knows. I drank wingnut shots with Callie. Those were a bad idea. I decided that too much walking would be another bad idea. I know there was some hockey on the tv. I know I bought some rounds of beers, as evidenced my the small amount of remaining cash. I think I played the Ramones and the Clash. I met some bikers. I may or may not have professed my undying love to Callie. I definitely love her for driving me home, so no worries there.

I think we got to the bar around 9:30pm and Amanda and Jess left around midnight maybe. Callie and I rolled out at 1:30am-ish. I know I played on my lappy when I got home b/c I couldn't sleep for some reason. It's likely that I stumbled around my house when I got in, based on the haphazard positions in which I found my jacket, shoes, clothes, and keys this morning.

Someone is currently running a chainsaw outside. I wish they would stop.